


brilliant inoocence

by takajima



Series: Chiitsune [2]
Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Chiitsune, Chinen helps people get laid, Chinen is a good friend, F/M, M/M, Magical Chinen, inoochii friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-07-19 15:20:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19976245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takajima/pseuds/takajima
Summary: “Even Keito’s getting laid?” Inoo whines. “I’m so lonelyyyyyy.”Chinen is a very good friend.





	brilliant inoocence

**Author's Note:**

> my beta [incandescence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/incandescence/pseuds/incandescence) has been telling me to post this for about 2 years, so I'm finally doing it! ehehe thank u <3
> 
> Also, happy birthday sg (i was quite adamant that if this fic was to ever be posted it would be on national day woohoo)

“CHINEN!!!!!!” 

Chinen turns, and is promptly tackled into the sofa by a flying Keito. Honestly, Chinen thinks, rubbing his aching back as he shoves the latter away, he doesn’t deserve this pain. If anything, Keito should be thanking him for his efforts. Hikaru isn’t gullible by any means, and it took a lot of careful planning to find an empty dressing room for them to _do the do_.

“I just had the best sex ever!” Keito tries but fails to whisper. His volume isn’t that of a whisper and the entire room can easily hear him. Thankfully, it is still early. The only other person in the dressing room is Inoo, who seems to have just woken up from a nap. 

He’d better have, Chinen thinks, because his poor virgin eyes cannot unsee the image of a naked Keito tied to a chair. He shudders, squeezing his eyes shut and tries to call upon some higher power to provide him with mental whiteout. 

Keito doesn’t seem perturbed, and continues as if Chinen hadn’t squirmed away in disgust. “We even—”

“LALALALA I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!” There was a reason why he made a run for it after shoving Hikaru in.

Chinen goes over to Inoo instead, whose feet are still on his side of the couch, the heathen. He pushes the latter’s offending feet off, and proceeds to curl up on himself. Maybe he can take a quick nap before the others arrive. 

“Even Keito’s getting laid?” Inoo whines. “I’m so lonelyyyyyy.”

Chinen suppresses a groan and cracks an eye open. Inoo’s face is inches from his, sporting an exaggerated ugly pout. “I’m going to die alone, with no cats.”

“What do you want?”

Inoo visibly perks up at this, and scoots to a respectable distance away from Chinen. “You’re like cupid, right?” 

Chinen blinks. “No, that’s not it.” 

“But you helped Keito get laid!” 

“I helped find him a room?” 

“So you are like cupid.” 

“No!” Chinen frowns at the other man. He may be on the small side, but he is certainly not a diaper-wearing infant that shoots arrows at people, although that does sound strangely fun, minus the diaper part.

“I just wanna love somebody~” Inoo croons, and Chinen really, really wants to cry. 

“Then go on a date.”

Inoo’s face falls. “I don’t have anyone to date!”

“Then get a dog!” Chinen throws in a reassuring thumbs up as well.

“I know!” Inoo exclaims dramatically. “ _You_ can find me a date!”

“You want me to set you up?” Chinen’s eyebrows may be up to his hairline by now. “Okay,” he breathes out, resigned. “I’ll make some calls.”

He’s turning into Nishikido-kun by the minute, accepting requests from his friends left and right. Chinen panics, and calls the latter, who is thankfully on speed-dial.

When Chinen returns to the room, he is a triumphant man. Kamiyama-kun is a nice guy, or so Nishikido-kun says. He might be a bit weird, but Inoo is a strange quack too.

“Clear your Saturday night,” he points to Inoo, not forgetting the finger guns. “J-West is in town.”

Inoo squeals.

That enthusiasm proves to be rather short-lived. 

“He was too weird,” Inoo laments from his strange position on the ground. He seems to be doing some sort of yoga, with his head sandwiched in between his knees. 

Chinen scoffs.

“Pot.”

Chinen is a good friend, so he tries again. 

“Promise it’s not someone weird?” 

Chinen rolls his eyes at that. “He’s completely normal. Don’t worry.”

“Do you know this person?”

“Nope, not at all. It’s Yabu’s ex-girlfriend’s cousin’s roommate.” Chinen pauses to take in Inoo’s incredulity. “You’ll be fine!”

“So how was last night’s date?” Chinen grins, poking Inoo in the arm.

Inoo shrugs. “There was no spark, nothing in common. He was a nice guy, but we’re just friends, I guess.” 

And again. 

“So why didn’t it work out with Miura Shohei-san?”

“He likes Kamenashi-kun.”

“But you like Kamenashi-kun too?” 

“Yes!” Inoo frowns. “And I am the only one that can like him!”

Chinen groans. “Why are you such a selfish fanboy?”

Inoo gives him a look. Chinen has no idea what that means. 

“You don’t get to tell me that, you used to glare at Ninomiya-kun back in the day.”

Chinen pouts.

“Oh right, I should ask him if he recorded those Shokura episodes when Kazuko happens.”

“Wow, you are hopeless.”

Chinen starts getting frustrated, because he’s using up his favours trying to get Inoo a date. It is too much effort for him alone, so he enlists some help from his trusty ex-cliente. 

“You thought she was cute, right?” Chinen gives Inoo his smarmiest grin - he heard from a good source that Inoo likes hot blondes.

Inoo nods, but looks more dejected than before. Strange, Chinen would have thought that Keito’s British friend would be a definite hit. 

“Then what’s the problem?”

“But I don’t speak English!” 

Ooops, he forgot about that. 

“You set me up with Yamada’s sister?”

“Yeah, why?”

“SWEET!” 

Chinen can’t help but cackle at Inoo’s blatant cheers. 

The next day, Chinen comes to work to be greeted by an Inoo lying face-flat on the couch. This is becoming a pattern.

Chinen raises a questioning eyebrow, to which Yabu just shrugs. 

“He told me not to disturb him. Said he was ‘moping’.” Yabu says this with air quotations. 

“Hey, buddy,” Chinen coos. He gives a little poke to Inoo’s side. 

“Go away,” Inoo mumbles, voice muffled by the couch. 

“Well tough shit, you’re on my couch.”

Inoo gets up at once, muttering apologies. He waits till Chinen is seated before crawling to lie on his lap. 

“I’m sad,” Inoo whines, but it’s mostly into Chinen’s tail. 

Chinen sneezes.

“I’m taking that it didn’t go well yesterday?”

“Chihiro-san doesn’t even like guys!” Inoo wails.

“Ah, I forgot. She used to have a thing with my sister, didn’t she?” Chinen scrunches up his nose at the memory. “I thought you’d be pretty enough.”

“I am pretty!” Inoo insists, folding his arms across his chest. Inoo might be trying to flutter his eyelids, Chinen doesn’t know, but it looks like he got something stuck in his eye instead. 

“There, there,” Chinen attempts to placate Inoo, petting his hair as he sulks. “It’ll be better next time.”

“You said that the past four times!” 

The next day, when Chinen turns up for work, he finds Daiki and Inoo on the loveseat, looking at Daiki’s laptop. 

“What are you guys doing?”

“Planning our romantic getaway to Singapore!” 

Chinen pauses, looking between the two of them. “You guys are…?”

“Dating!” They beam at Chinen in synchronisation, holding up their laced fingers. It is then Chinen realises that Daiki’s feet are in Inoo’s lap. Wow, they are very serious. His tail twitches in agreement.

Chinen wants to be surprised at this development, but he can’t, seeing as he has been on the receiving end of Daiki’s jealous glares the past few weeks. 

More than anything, he’s glad that his plan worked. A jealous Daiki is very enthusiastic, Chinen thinks. He remembers when Daiki was upset at Yuto’s seemingly infinite growth spurt and tried to drink so much milk in one sitting that he had a bad stomach that lasted for days. He got over it soon enough, when he realised he wasn’t going to be alone. Chibis always stick together! 

Daiki isn’t alone now, either.

“Congratulations!” Chinen offers, settling on his couch, now gloriously Inoo-free. 

He is about to fall asleep on the couch for his scheduled power nap when the door bursts open and he hears, “Inoo-chan, you’re going to have so much sex!”

Chinen groans, and shoves a pillow over his head. 

He still hears Daiki gasp, presumably putting his hands on Inoo’s ears. After all these years, Daiki still thinks of Inoo as an innocent flower. 

“Keito!!!”


End file.
